Some people who have tasted addiction will spend the rest of
their lives chasing the feeling they once knew, or chasing the freedom they
wish they had; and never being able to see anything in-between. I cry for those
bound to this vicious reality, and I cry for fear of the vision I have of
myself bound to the same fate becoming my reality.
That is my truth for today.
May it be only a memory tomorrow.
I'll also leave you with one more truth. I know that this is my choice. I've known from the beginning that my fate is in my hands. I am always aware that my view of the future does not have to be so dim, and that by the time I get there it may be a completely different scene. I am also not aftraid of the understanding that I have drawn my cards myself; that I have played this hand, and I have brought myself to where I am today. I am not afraid of it, though I am hurt inside. I'm hurt because I have the intelligence to see more than one future. I can see the choices lay before me and I can see the outcomes they may bring. I'm hurt because of the choices I have made to bring me to where I am. I am thankful everyday for the strength I have learned to hold, though it may lie dormant, I know every day that it is there. I'm thankful that I have been able to make the choices I've made and not to have made the decision to let it all go. I hold pride in that fact.
That is the bittersweet I see all around me. May it get sweeter with every new choice made.
